I Cant Wait for You

Dear Ex Who Never Should Have Been An Ex,

I don’t know what I did to deserve to go from being your fiancée to your back up plan. I can’t believe that everything you told me about not changing or giving up on us turned out to be a lie. I can’t believe I have to resort to this to feel better since you won’t give me closure. There aren’t any answers, and I get that. But you’re such a jackass. “Someday, if it’s meant to be, we’ll be together.” What about every time you told me that I completed you? I understand that people change. You joined a frat, you want to hit it and quit it, and long distance wasn’t your thing even though you told me we should do it.

You don’t make me happy either. You think you’re the only one with needs. I’m a fucking good girlfriend. I would have made a damn good wife. You were my world, but when you changed your mind, you changed mine too. You think that I can sit around and be your backup? You think that can honestly happen? I’m going to get snatched up by someone who’s more of a man than you are. He’s going to treat me right. He won’t leave me hoping to find something that doesn’t exist.

I hate you. I love you. I miss you. I can’t get over you. You never initiate conversations with me, but when I tell you I can’t talk to you anymore, you decide we have to be friends. You’re just hurting me more. I miss you, but you’re not right for me anymore. You changed, and that’s why you broke up with me. Even though in my heart, I know you’ll come back to me someday, I’m not going to wait for you any longer.
I’ve had sex with two people since you left me. It’s been a month. In my attempt to fill the hole you left behind, I’ve made horrible choices. But even when I make good choices, I don’t feel any better.
There is someone else. I can’t seem to let myself be with him because it feels like cheating and because I hope you change your mind and come back to me. I was holding back from him because I was scared and waiting on you. I know you’ll realize your mistake sooner or later. But he makes me feel special. And he holds me the way you used to. But you’d rather play the field; never mind that we were engaged. Never mind that I spent all that money to come visit you. Never mind because you weren’t the one I needed.

Maybe you’re right; I love you more than you love me. Unfortunately, I can’t do this waiting, but I can’t move on. So I talk to you, and I hope that you’ll realize that I’m waiting right here, where you left me. So that you’ll love me again, and I won’t die alone.
So good luck, and when you’re ready to initiate a conversation with me, I may or may not kick you in the balls.

Sincerely,
Your Won’t Be Waiting Ex