Not Ready For Forever

Dear Michael,

I'm sorry. I know you love me, and that you're ready for forever, But I'm not. Not with you. It never should have gotten this far, you were just a rebound after she left me this summer. Things were okay until you freaked over the scare, you should never have pressured me like that. If we had gotten pregnant you would have had to let me decide for myself.

I wish you would stop talking to me like I'm three, you think it's cute, but it makes me want to slap you. And leave my accent alone, It's not funny. I wish I could tell you that I'm cheating on you, and that she is more amazing then you could ever be. I wish I could tell you that lasting for 3 minutes isn't normal, and how sad it is that I haven't even had the time to fake an orgasm. But lastly, and most importantly, I wish I could tell you that I'm dumping you after christmas. I'll fake it some more so you don't have to be alone for the holidays. But I'm beginning to hate you, and love her.

I don't think I'll be cruel enough to tell you that I'm a lesbian.

Sincerely,
Your girlfriend.