Worth It All?

Hey My Not Even Close To/Never Will Be/Wish With All My Heart You Where Boyfriend,

You drive me insane and I like you way more then I should. We only truly hang out every two weeks or so, but I see you almost everyday. Everytime I know you are working I run through a debate of whether or not I should go see you or at what time or how many times before it seems like I'm obsessing. The problem is that I am and I can't get over you. Until this weekend I hadn't hungout with you in a month since we slept together. I wish I could talk to you about that. I've talked to everyone else about it, even your "fiancee" but not you. You the one that I want to talk to you more then anyone. You ask the things that nobody else will ask, you make me laugh. You make me feel shy and insecure, but at the same time so beautiful and amazing. You make it so hard to get over you because I can't stay away from you. Everytime we have a conversation I want it to keep going, to never end. I imagine having conversations with you in my head all the time. Of having enough time to actually hangout with you and have a deep talk like we used to, before we did it.

I want to ask you if you truly love her or if you're just marrying her for the kids or just because you know that she couldn't function without you? If you do love her then I want to ask you why you did it? Why couldn't you just leave it alone? Never bring up the attraction between you and me? If you don't love her, then how can you give up your whole life to be with her? Commit to her when she isn't the one you want? Everything points to you not truly loving her, except for the fact that you are still with her. Why do you have to be married to her to be a friend and father to her children? If you truly loved her then why did you only ask her to marry you the day after she found out we slept together? Why not ask her before that, before you even met me? Why did you ask me out the first time we hung out? Why did you take it back when you found out she was pregnant? Why couldn't we have just dated anyways?
Why can't I let you go?

Loves,
(^I'm afraid that might be true^)
The One You Wanted/Can Have/Should Have And Deserve

PS(do you still want me?)